Vaginal Dryness After ChildbirthNovember 22, 2021

Painful sex after giving birth is common. About 50+% of women have reported painful sex (dyspareunia) after giving birth. Usually, it’s reported to occur at about 6 weeks after childbirth and can continue up to 6 months postpartum or longer. Painful sex after birth can happen to any new mother, regardless of the birth was natural or via c-section.

Why is sex after pregnancy painful?

Many women have pain during penetrative sex after having a baby. This should improve over time. Some research has suggested that most women start having sex again about 3 or 4 months after giving birth and that this sex was painful for the first couple of times.

Vaginal dryness is a common cause of painful sex after giving birth. Some research has shown that this can be worse for women who are breastfeeding because they have lower levels of estrogen (the female sex hormone). Again, this should get better over time or when you stop breastfeeding.

Talk to your GP or health visitor if you have any pain during or after sex after giving birth. If your vagina is dry, you may be advised to try using a water-based lubricant.

Will my vagina feel different after having a baby?

When you give birth, the entrance to the vagina stretches to let the baby out. This may leave your vagina feeling bruised and swollen. This is normal and should reduce after a few days. Your vagina probably won’t go back to its pre-birth shape, but this shouldn’t be a problem when you have sex.

You could try doing some pelvic floor exercises, which can help tone the vaginal muscles. 

What if I don’t want to have sex after having a baby?

It’s not unusual to feel less like having sex for a while after you’ve had a baby. You’re recovering physically, plus you’re looking after a tiny baby. You’re probably coping with a few sleepless nights and are feeling very tired.

The early weeks with a baby can feel overwhelming. Understandably, you may feel so focused on your new role as a mum that sex is the last thing on your mind.

Your Mental Health

You’ll also probably feel quite emotional after giving birth. You’ll probably find yourself bursting into tears for no apparent reason or feel irritable, touchy or irrational. This is called the baby blues and are normal feelings as your hormones change and your body gets used to not being pregnant anymore. You may not feel very sexy during this time.

Some women have postnatal depression, which is not the same as the ‘baby blues’. Postnatal depression is when you have feelings of sadness, loss of interest, hopelessness, guilt or self-blame all the time for weeks or months after you’ve had a baby.If this happens to you, you’re not likely to feel very sexual.

Your feelings about your post-baby body

Your body will probably look very different after giving birth, too. This may not bother some women, but others may have negative feelings about their post-baby body, which may affect their sexual confidence. Doing some gentle exercises may help you feel better. If you had a straightforward birth, you can start gentle exercise as soon as you feel up to it. This could include walking, gentle stretches, pelvic floor exercises, or swimming.

It's usually a good idea to wait until after your six-week postnatal check before you start any high-impact exercise, such as aerobics or running.

How will my partner feel about sex after I give birth?

Just as in pregnancy, your partner’s sexual desire may go up and down after you give birth. If they don’t want to have sex, it may be because:

• they are feeling tired, perhaps because they are coping with sleepless nights too, or they’ve had to go back to work
• they are afraid of hurting you
• they are in ‘parent mode’ and sex isn’t a priority
• they are feeling anxious or depressed (postnatal depression can also affect fathers and partners).

These mixed and confusing feelings aren’t fun, but they are normal. Remember, lots of people go through this in the early days, months and years of having children. You’re not alone.

Try talking to your partner about your feelings and theirs. This will help you both to understand what’s happening in your relationship. You can also try to stay connected and intimate in new ways that work for both of you.

Treatment For Painful Sex

There are a few things you can do to prevent or minimize pain during sex in the postpartum period. First of all, see a pelvic floor physical therapist for a postpartum assessment to address your concerns.

They can be very helpful in checking your pelvic floor in finding the driver to why you may be experiencing dyspareunia in the first place. Be sure to use ample lubricant…a lot! We recommend Slippery Stuff. You can also take part in quite a lot of foreplay or try different positions.

What is most important is, to be honest and open with your partner and communicate your feelings. Just like goals in parenthood, you need to express your goals as a couple now that you’re parents.

Make physical intimacy and emotional intimacy goals for your relationship.