Be careful what you wish for – How I got my premature TwinsNovember 26, 2018

When I saw Life Maid Easy Health Care Services celebrate World Prematurity Day, I couldn’t believe the coincidence. I had my premature twin girls on the same day in 2017. While everyone talks and tells you about full term babies, not many tell you what to expect of twins, especially premature ones. For such mothers, here is my story.

I am Dr. Tania Shareef Anvar Sadath, living in Abu Dhabi, UAE and the mother of 4. My son, 9, and my daughter, 7, were both born in Thrissur, India. Both of them were born vaginally. Since it was in Kerala, I had good post delivery care after pregnancy.  I recovered well. I wanted one more child and soon enough, I confirmed my pregnancy. I secretly wished for twins. In my mind, it was such a rosy picture. A scan and a conversation with my gynaecologist brought both good and bad news. I was indeed pregnant. Like I wished, I was getting twins. But reality was twins means I might have premature babies, a c-section or both. I was too anxious, nervous, stressed for my own good. Because of that, all the body changes and emotions were double the normal. Morning sickness was awful. I visited my home in India during third month. The very next day I reached there, I was bleeding. I was admitted in hospital for 3 days. Even though my babies were happy and safe in the womb, I was frightened of losing them. My depression doubled. Everywhere I heard stories of twins death before delivery. I didn’t know multiple pregnancy was such a difficult thing. So many injections and medications. Thank God, all doctors and nurses who took care of me were angels. In hindsight, if I had kept myself calm during my pregnancy, my pregnancy would have been a more pleasant experience and my twins would have made their entry at the right time.

One of the biggest things I did not have, was the right knowledge, guidance or information to manage my twin pregnancy. I relied on my previous experiences. I still think all my tensions gave way to premature delivery. The blind belief that hard work will lead to smooth delivery was wrong for me. I enjoyed eating rice in pregnancy. It was my only craving in my twin pregnancy. I can’t say how much I loved rice. I would have it 4 or 5 times a day. Ultimately it led to gestational diabetes. Thinking walking will reduce blood sugar with diet, we went to a science festival in a park and spent 3 hours walking. In a few hours, a new chapter began in our life.

I won’t forget that day - November 17. I had my baby girls at 27 weeks - very premature. When pain came my only thought was to have them delivered as soon as possible. I only I knew if I held them for more, they could be more healthy.

The word premature had never come in my life. I was so scared. I had a C-section delivery at Burjeel Hospital, Abu Dhabi. My babies were rushed to NICU. I had to wait for the second day to see my babies. Hours passed like years. No one to care for me except, my husband and kids. I wish I had known stress would decrease my breast milk. On the first day there was no milk. As each drop of breast milk is a life saver, at that time and no milk coming I was in physical pain and mental agony. How are my babies? How do they look like? Are both of them alike? Who should I ask? I can’t even step out because of the pain. Having no breast milk made me miserable. Luckily, an Arab couple in the NICU came forward and offered our babies milk. The very next day I visited my babies, they were so small. I wanted to touch them, hug them, kiss them but I couldn’t. My twins were inside a glass box, full of tubes, breathing fast. I was not able to stand there with all the monitoring machines beeping. I learnt, my girls were born at 1.4 kg and 1.6 kg respectively.

I saw parents around me. All different nationalities, but the same expression on all faces. All trying to support each other. On the 3^rd day I was much better. I softly touched my baby’s small hands, she just responded. I wanted to hear their cries, to see their small eyes, wanted to hold their hands. Next day we were allowed for KMC - kangaroo mother care. I was in tears, when I held her. She was too small. The following day they got an infection and there stopped our KMC and holding hands. We were just allowed to watch them. They were still inside glass box with all those tubes. They were not gaining weight; even 1 gram was too much for them. Then the terms PDA (a heart condition), blood transfusion, CPAP (assisted breathing), oxygen saturation became part of everyday conversation. It became a routine to visit my babies in NICU with breast milk bottles, waiting inside NICU as I was discharged. Our prayers and hope were answered. We were told they will be out of glass box and asked us to get them clothes. We were excited. But when we came back, the Hb level went down in one twin. So blood transfusion was the only remedy. One day when we went to NICU, they were in cribs. There were no words to describe our pleasure. Slowly they began to gain weight, may be 5 gm or 10 gm. It was a ray of light. The PDA remedied itself. They did have ROP (a condition of eyes leading to blindness) which also was getting better. Their hearing was normal. Nurses were teaching me how to feed them, how to change diapers as if was doing this was my first time. We were told that once they reach 2 kilos, they could go home.

Our big day came when one twin came back home on 54^th day. Even though I got her, my heart was full of grief. I still couldn’t see my second one till she came back home. Each day I would cry a lot, thinking what she would be doing there. Did she had her feeds? Will the nurse miss her feeds? Will nurses get busy taking care of other babies? Will she miss her twin? Each second passed like years. It was indeed a long waiting. I thought I was the one only who was on this long journey. 5 days later, my twins were together. Finally our family was complete. My parents also flew down to help us.

Maryam and Nafisa completed 1 year on November 17 this year. To all moms to be, no matter if you have single babies or multiples, please remember that, what you feel is what they feel. If you have any questions ask your gynaecologist. Each woman is different; each pregnancy for the same woman is different. So ask your doctor your pregnancy do’s and don’ts. Remain calm. Enjoy your pregnancy. I hope and pray that all you pregnant moms can learn to relax and give birth to healthy and hearty babies. As an Ayurveda doctor, I would recommend you get the best post delivery care.